Looking Back

There comes a time in our lives where we suddenly find that we’ve crossed a kind of threshold. We realize, with varying degrees of surprise or even dismay, that the time we have behind us is far, far greater than that which is to come. Even though we know that life goes on, and is eternal, the bodies we inhabit now, and all that has gone into their making, will cease. Though we have days, months, years of future, the past, the memories, make up the vast majority of our lives.

At first, we view this thought with sorrow, sometimes even horror. But as we grow accustomed to the truth, it all becomes … okay. We realize that all of that past that crowds behind us, pressing us forward into the great unknown, is not gone. We have moved beyond it, perhaps, but we really haven’t left it behind. All of the loves, the lights, the laughter are still with us. All of the people, all of the pets, who came before are still a part of us.

Memory is as solid and real and alive as ever. Even when we are gone, that memory will live on, echoing through the places we have traveled, and bringing smiles to the people we have touched.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about the loves of yesteryear. Of course, many of those thoughts revolve around the dogs who have walked beside me, the cats who have ruled my roost, the horses I have cared for, the little birds I raised and released (and those who refused to leave). Sometimes, these memories bring me sorrow, and I miss those people and animals with an ache that makes my heart bleed. Most of the time, though, even when there is sorrow, the memories are touched with sweetness. I close my eyes, and reach out my spirit, and feel them all crowded around me, bringing comfort and peace.

“We love you always,” they seem to say, “don’t worry.”

That sense of peace, of living memory, brings another gift as well. It brings the deep appreciation for those who are physically with me, today.

My Kira, my Magic, bring laughter into my life every day. My birds: Stripes, Whistle, Jingle, Tidbit make me smile. My two little horses, Star and Kestrel, are always there for me. And my human family and friends, here and afar, are the great blessings of my life.

I know that I am well past my zenith, but I still have so many opportunities ahead to be thankful. I know that, with its trials, life will bring me blessings every day. Many of those will be little blessings, things that can so easily slip by unnoticed. I will endeavor to keep my eyes open for them, and try my best to take every opportunity to say, “Thank you.”

Are you, like me, looking at more past than future in your current form? Are you at the midpoint, just now starting to realize that the time ahead is limited? Or are you in your youth, feeling like you have all the time in the world, and life will go on forever?

Wherever you are in your current journey, face your days with open eyes. Embrace those who are with you today, for they shall someday, too, be memory. Open your arms to every smile, every breeze, every glimmer of starlight that comes your way.

And never miss a chance to say, “Thank you.”